Tag Archives: Happiness

Don’t Meet Your Heroes… Unless They’re Wonderful.

Posted on by under Mental Health

You know how almost all of us have people we want to meet? Usually it’s celebrities. Sports stars, musicians, scientists, you know the type. But when was the last time you had someone “regular” that you wanted to meet? A regular Joe/Jane. A person who you’ve seen around or maybe spoken to once or twice online?

It doesn’t happen often does it? But for me, it happened! It all started with one of my favourite people [A] in the world who’s always supported this blog, my videos, my life in general including supporting me through break ups, awkward encounters, my lowest most depressed and anxious moments.

She knew someone who had been struggling with their mental health [B] and she put us in touch. She also shared my posts on here, Facebook and Instagram. We started chatting nearly 2 years ago on and off and she is fantastic. Life has dealt her a bit of a shit hand but she has always powered through. Despite everything that she’s gone through, she is still going. And one thing I really, wholeheartedly, absolutely respect her for is sharing. We’ve had a fair few conversations about mental health. About her own and about mine. She spoke really openly and honestly with me very early on in our friendship and she knows exactly how much strength that takes. How much energy it takes to do that. How terrifying it can be. But she did it. And I’m so glad she opened up to me because I am so proud and honoured to consider her a friend.

Anyone who knows me or has read this blog is fully aware how much I value the sharing of all of our mental health struggles. It’s something that I think we all need to do more to help remove that stigma. It helps us all feel much more comfortable sharing our struggles. It doesn’t have to be public like what I’m doing. It can just be sharing with one person you trust, but please do share. It will lighten the load.

Anyway, back to the point. Yesterday I got to meet Miss B and she is just as amazing and inspiring as I knew she would be. Everyone always says “don’t meet your heroes, you’ll only be disappointed”. But you know what? Sometimes you can and should meet your heroes. Miss A is one of my heroes and she introduced me to Miss B who is now one of my latest heroes and I’m very grateful for it. A little extra joy was brought into my life today and I am very glad I met one of my heroes.

So This Is Awkward, Silence isn’t Golden and Valentines Day.

Posted on by under Mental Health

Hey, so it’s been a while! I had initially planned a little two week break over the Christmas holidays and BAM! Two months later, I’ve not done a damn thing on this blog. But I’m back and although it’s not on my usual Thursday spot, I thought I’d give you a little update on life. It’s going to be a little bit rambly but I’m just glad to be back on it! I’ve been a little unwell, a little demotivated and a lot lazy but I’m not beating myself up about it too much. 🙂

The first thing that I’ve noticed recently (and by recently I mean the last few months) is that I am not good with silence. Whether I’m at home, out or at work, I am completely unable to sit in silence. Recently silence makes me really really anxious. Everywhere I am I need to have music on or the TV on in the background. I don’t know why it started, but it’s affected the way I work, the way I relax and the way I look after myself. The strange thing is, there are some sounds and some noises that I can’t cope with. The sound of trains and the underground makes my skin crawl. The sound of other people talking gives me an instant headache. I only seem to be able to handle the sounds that I can control myself. My music, the TV, films. Other sounds are just jarring at the moment and I’m having to relearn how to cope with the rest of the world.

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Neon art on display at the Rise Gallery in Croydon

Valentines day is coming up as well which is a source of anxiety for a lot of people. I’ve been single for 4/5 years now and happily single for a fair bit of it but it took me a long time to learn to love being single. I’m happier than ever to be single. Valentines day is a nice day for so many people in relationships but it often causes lots of people anxiety around their relationship status. It’s hard, but try not to focus on that. After all, self love is the most important kind of love there is. I know it’s cheesy as hell, but it’s 100% true.

Either way, please remember, you are wonderful, you deserve to be happy and it might take a little bit of time but everything is going to be fucking amazing.

3 Things I Appreciated This Past Week

Posted on by under General Ranting

Every day is not good, but there is something good in every day.

In turbulent times like these it’s really important that we learn to appreciate the people and the things in our lives that we’ve really appreciated. It’s often the little things that we overlook easily. I find it really useful to seek out these little things to make ourselves remain positive and to prevent us from becoming cynical and angry at the world.

While it may feel like hate has taken over the world, love still exists and it’s still a powerful thing. The quote above is a powerful one for me and I try to find that something good in every day. Here are some of the good things that I have experienced this week.

1. Reconnecting with an old friend and with music

Years ago, I met a girl at school and we chatted rarely and sang together once in the music room at school. We pretty much never hung out and never really spoke much but we recently reconnected after 8 long years and being thousands of miles apart. I knew very little about her when we were in school but the person she’s become is wonderful. Kind, fun, accepting, really flippin smart and also very talented. We got together and chatted, listened to music like the old days (like where you’d buy a few new CD’s and bring them round and listen to them together) and also sang together. This is the product of our re-connection! Mara, thank you for being you!

2. The kindness of strangers

So as you know, I’ve recently started making videos for this blog as well. If you don’t, check out the channel, watch some videos, subscribe (shameless plug, I know, video below). What I really appreciated though, was someone who was established as a YouTuber and someone who’s videos I watch every week, took the time out to watch some of my videos and give me feedback. She’s undoubtedly really busy and she still helped me out! She was in the last blog post and she remains one of the loveliest people online. So, thanks, Ana Marta!

3. My job

Tonight is my first night home for 3 days. I spent two days in St Helens and one day in Leicester. Leicester is the day I want to talk about though. I got to see where one of my young people had got to after knowing her for three years. She’d organised an event for 500 students to encourage them to get into STEM. She was confident, calm and assertive throughout the day. It was so wonderful to see what she’s achieved and how successful her project has become. I’m proud to do what I do and I’m so proud of her for supporting other young people who have been told they’re not good enough to get into STEM. They can and will and they’re going to pioneer innovative new ways to make the world a better place. 🙂

The Power of a Smile

Posted on by under Mental Health

I talk a lot about how the little things in life can really help people get through a day, a week, a year. It could be something as simple as a good song or bumping into an old friend or even something silly like tidying up the mini zen garden on your desk. All of these little things can make the tough days just that little bit easier and even though sometimes you don’t acknowledge them, they’re there if you look for them.

I made a new friend recently. For those of you who know me you know I’m not a huge fan of meeting new people. It often makes me feel physically sick. People often tell me that they’d never guess that I’m not a fan of meeting people because I seem so friendly and confident. Truth is, I’m just a very good actor. Meeting people, as I mentioned, makes me feel very sick. It makes me brain function at 1000mph and leaves me considering every single possible social interaction that we’d have in the next few seconds, minutes, hours and days.

However!

This particular person walked up to me with her friend (who I already knew and who all of this also applies to when I first met her) and came over beaming. Smiling like there wasn’t a thing wrong with the world and that made me feel significantly more at ease than when I saw her coming over.

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A simple smile made me feel significantly more comfortable with this new person. She came across as friendly and accepting. Luckily, she was actually friendly and accepting. She’s absolutely not the only person with a winning smile though. Most of the people I know and love greeted me with a smile. Whether it was at the first ever volunteering residential I went to (where I was unable to bring myself to approach anyone), at work or through other ways I’ve always had wonderful smiles around me to calm my nerves.

So I’d always encourage you to smile at that stranger you see on the train every morning, smile at your partners, your friends, your families. Whether it’s a polite smile, a toothy grin or a good ol’ hearty cackle it could be a huge thing. You never know when someone might need that small gesture of kindness.

If you’re in need of a smile, my glorious friends from all over the place have sent me photos (or let me trawl through their Facebook photos) and are here to provide a smile for you as they did for me.

The selfless dream team

 

Thank you to Jacqui, Deepan, Taz, Sarah, Zahrah, Amira, Jenny, Shaun, Emma, Rob, Victoria, Kate, Scarlett, Kishan, Cat, Zahra, Monet, Emmeline, Jack, John, Naomi, Amy, Katie, Louise, Reema, Sarah and Rosie and many many more for sending in photos, helping me to spread a little joy and for bringing so much joy into my life. I ended up receiving more photos than I could fit but here are just a small fraction of them!

Keep smiling, all.

A