Category Archives: Selfless

A Successfully Selfless Sunday

Posted on by under Selfless, Selflessness, Success, Volunteering

So as many of you may have read, it was my birthday at the weekend and my friends and I thought we’d do something different this year. Every year I end up going to a bar, drinking more than is usually responsible and regretting life choices for a long time.

This year we planned something a little different. You can read about the plans here.

Due to some questionable planning on my part, we didn’t make it through the whole list, but what we did achieve made me really proud. Proud of myself for making such wonderful selfless friends. Proud of my friends and my family for being so willing to get stuck in and for giving up their Sundays to make other people smile. Proud of the public for not only taking part but paying it forward.

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Some of Carl’s best cards!

The main thing that we did for the day was writing out lots of positive, motivational and inspirational messages and hand them out to people along with a flower and a few chocolates.

I knew from the get-go that we weren’t going to change the world with this small act of kindness, but it brightened an otherwise very grey London day, for us and the people we were handing gifts out to.

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My beautiful team of volunteers for the day

One of the most exciting things that I’ve seen is that friends who live too far to join in in person carried out their own acts of kindness wherever they were as well. I’ve been getting letters, texts, messages from people all over the place telling me about their random acts of kindness for other people. You can see some of the examples below! One thing, that I know is the case for lots of my friends, is that these random acts of kindness aren’t unusual for them.

So many of my friends spend all their time and energy trying to make other people’s lives better but it’s really rare that a truly selfless person will list out all the things that they’ve done other people.

They rarely  get to see the impact that they have on the world and that breaks my heart a little bit. So my final birthday wish is for you to be a little bit selfish so that you can make sure to spread more selflessness. I wrote a whole post about it ages ago and it’s important to me that you recognise the amazing things and impact that you have on the people around you and the world.

All the cards we wrote out
Amy getting ready to spread some love!
Katie and her infectious smile!
The selfless dream team

Good deeds don’t always get recognised, but they deserve to be. Often they do, of course and that’s great. But sometimes people won’t notice that you’ve held a door open, or paid them a really nice compliment or helped them in any way.

So to all of my friends and family, the worlds teachers, campaigners, activists, doctors, engineers, youth workers, fast food servers, bus drivers and everyone in between, celebrate your contribution to the world, give yourself a pat on the back sometimes. If you’ve helped someone smile today, you deserve it. Kindness deserves recognition, even if it’s from yourself.

Recognition today goes out to all of my friends and family who helped me to spread some cheer. Those who came on the day, those who donated items for us to use, those who carried out their own acts of kindness in response to this all deserve my gratitude and appreciation, as well as all my birthday well wishers. You helped give me the perfect birthday!

Every act of kindness will be appreciated. I appreciate kindness wherever it’s come from. I want to celebrate kind acts that you’ve carried out. Comment them on here, or tweet me. Have yourselves a wonderful, kind week.

A

 

The Recovery Part 8: Success In Selflessness

Posted on by under #cheerupchallenge, Anxiety, Appreciation, Campaign, Depression, Happiness, Life, Little Things, Mental Health, Recovery, Selfless, Selflessness, Social, Volunteer, Volunteering

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Why the f*** is this guy sauntering back onto the web to tell us things when he ditched us for so long. Well that’s totally fair. I’ve been pretty shitty when it comes to blogging the last few months (not that I was particularly consistent before).

Well the short version is that I was taking a break from blogging as I’d run out of things to talk about. I’m sure everyone was getting rid of hearing about my recovery (though I’m clearly writing about it still) which is still ongoing, though I am doing better. Panic attacks are limited now to bed time when I have too much time to think (so I’ve been playing retro Pokémon games to fall asleep faster with less panics). Social anxiety is lessening, though please don’t put me in a room with a whole load of people I don’t know and tell me to socialise. I will cower in fear, hide in a corner and most likely hyperventilate.

My reason for writing this post is that I feel as though I’d lost my way with this blog recently. It started as a blog about volunteering and has become more about my mental health than anything else. I am certainly looking at diversifying the content that I put up here to include things that I find interesting (I hope you’re all ready for Nerdpocalypse) but again, lots of it won’t have anything to do with volunteering.

However I have a few projects in the pipeline which will be happening in the next few months and I’m super keen to share the first one with you. I’ll soon be turning 25 years old. A quarter of a century. I’m really lucky that, at this milestone, we generally don’t start to have gammy legs and broken backs. I’m reasonably healthy and able. So for my 25th birthday, my friends and I are coming up with a list of 25 random acts of kindness which we’ll carry out on my actual birthday. 25 is quite a lot and there are only so many hours in the day so we’re looking at doing small, thoughtful gestures. Here’s the list so far:Diem.jpg

  1. A meal for a homeless person
  2. Help an old person/person less physically able with their shopping or cross the road
  3. Sing for the sick
  4. Sing for random people to put a smile on their face. 
  5. Write and distribute positive notes to strangers
  6. Tape some coins to a vending machine for the next person
  7. Give strangers a flower
  8. Pay for a coffee for the next person in the queue
  9. Community clean up
  10. Pop up yoga session for people
  11. Give Blood
  12. Give random people a compliment

We only have 12 things so far so we’re needing lots more! I’m hoping for a huge group of people who can help me tick off every item throughout the day and I’m reaching out to everyone on the internet to help out. It’ll be taking place in London on Sunday September 4th, likely starting from Croydon first thing in the morning. I’ll surely need help carrying things from my  house through Croydon and into London.
If you’re interested at all, just pop a comment down and/or email me. 🙂 I would love to get someone along to help to document the day via video and social media as well.

I’ll be tweeting out using the hashtag #SelflessSunday.

It’s sure to be a Spectacular September Sunday of Successful Selflessness so please join me for part of or all of the day and help me celebrate my birthday in the best flipping way possible!

I hope you’re all feeling happy, healthy and loved.

A

Kindness Is Key

Posted on by under Change, General Ranting, Happiness, Kindness, Respect, Selfless, Selflessness, Social

As I sit here at work with virtually nothing to do while I’m covering this event, I got to thinking. I’ve reached the ripe old age of 23 and it feels like throughout my very short life, things have gone downhill constantly. Not me. The world. Every day there are more and more conflicts over more and more ridiculous things. Sexism, racism, ageism and all the other “isms” are coming to light and are causing more and more tension between groups.

The issues are becoming common knowledge and the people are becoming more and more angry about it. Some people react to it admirably and try to solve the many problems through peaceful, sensible and responsible means. Others however are getting angry and are generating more and more hate. So what do I think is the key to solving the world’s problems? Simple. It’s a combination of things.

Empathy is essential and knowledge is power. Many people in the UK are getting angry at those bloody immigrants stealing our jobs and our benefits. Working all the jobs whilst also not working at all. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but how much is your opinion really worth if you don’t do any research and refuse to learn, forever remaining ignorant? If you’re pissed off about immigrants, talk to them, calmly. Listen to stories of why they’re here. Learn the difference between asylum seekers and refugees. I’ve used immigration as an example, but the same rules should apply to all other kinds of things (racism, feminism, sexism etc.). Understand other people and be open to listen. Do not pity, just try to understand. Put yourself in their shoes before you make a judgement.

The most important thing in my opinion though, is kindness. Kindness is key!

We’re a species designed to live in groups. We don’t leave our offspring to fend for themselves once they’re born. We also don’t call them our offspring. We congregate in social groups whether in person or online. We’re constantly finding ways to make being a part of a group easier. However, if you’re in a group, you tend only to stick around people who show kindness and those who are unkind to members of the group are shunned and exiled. Why should this be different on a larger scale? If you show kindness on a larger scale, to everyone you meet, bonds form and they form strongly. It creates a chain reaction of kindness and it makes people act differently towards one another.

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“But Alex, nice guys finish last! What’s the point?”. Welllllllll not quite. Being kind puts people in your corner and people will look out for you. In fact, the guys at ASAP Science have made a video about how nice guys actually finish first! Check it out. Society thrives on kindness. There just simply isn’t enough of it around at the moment. We’re fueled by hate and anger because it sells papers and gets people watching the news. We’re in a virtually endless cycle of anger but it is possible to break out of it. Just be kind and watch how things change for the better!

A

The Power of Positive People

Posted on by under Grateful, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Mental Health, Positive, Positivity, Praise, Radiator, Respect, Selfless

I’m currently still buzzing from going to see Paolo Nutini in Newcastle last night with two extremely inspirational women and felt the urge to write a blog post. Obviously I’ve mentioned multiple times about the love that I have for music and gigs etc. so I’m not going to write too much about that again. Instead I want to have a little natter about people.

One of the greatest gifts I ever received from volunteering was the people that I met along the way. Some of them have become colleagues, some have become my closest friends and others have unfortunately disappeared from my life, but everyone has taught me something about myself and about the work that we do and why it’s so important. Besides the learning that I get from my peers, friends, family and colleagues, the main thing that I’ve gained from a lot of them has been health.

People often underestimate the power of positivity and how important it is to surround yourself with people who can help keep you positive. Some of the people I used to acquaint myself with felt a constant sense of entitlement, a belief that they were destined for great things, but another belief that they shouldn’t have to work for it. All that they thought about was what they didn’t have and trying to understand why they didn’t have it.

The people who I’m closest to now couldn’t be more different. I’ve cut negativity out of my life as much as possible and it’s brought me along so much. The people I know now are people that I admire greatly for so many reasons. For one, they’re people that just care so much about making the lives of people around them better. They work tirelessly to make sure the people they love are as happy as humanly possible. I’ve spent a couple of days with a family who inspire me constantly with their unity, strength and drive to make the most of their lives and the cards that they’ve been dealt.

Another reason I am constantly in awe of most of the people I know now is that they’re grateful for every little thing in their lives and it really is the little things that make a huge difference. A nice cup of tea, a bit of time with family and friends, a nice walk along the river. They’re appreciative of having a roof over their heads and having food on the table. They take nothing for granted.

The third thing that I’m so happy about is that the people I know, know that praise is an incredible tool to lift someone out of a slump. Praise is something that is earned and shouldn’t be doled out any old time. However, when it has been earned and when it is deserved, it shouldn’t be awkward to dish it out. This blog post is praise to all the people I know, respect and love and hopefully you should know if this applies to you.

Respect – another thing that must be earned. It’s hard to earn but so so easy to lose. However, I treat everyone I meet with respect even if I don’t respect them. Everyone should be given a chance to earn respect. People make mistakes, it’s human nature, it’s how you learn from your mistakes and how you deal with them that earns respect. No one is perfect, not even the people I respect the most, but they can acknowledge that in themselves and others and that’s so important. If I struggle to respect someone I struggle to talk to them and I struggle massively to keep in touch with them.

The thing I love most about the people I’ve surrounded myself with is all of these things and more. Their resilience, passion, hard work and general being good fun, fill me with positivity every time I see them, makes me a better person and keeps my mood up which believe me can be tough. All I have to do now is try to pass on the positivity to others.

To close, I’d encourage everyone to consider this little quote.

“Don’t be a drain, be a radiator”

If this baffles you a little bit I’ll leave these here too.
Radiators – People who give out warmth, kindness, love, honesty, positivity, energy, enthusiasm and all the good things which people need and respond to.
Drains – People who are negative, downbeat, suck the energy out of others and don’t like themselves.

A