Category Archives: People

The Gateway To 2016 And The Ones You Miss The Most

Posted on by under Anxiety, Appreciation, Happiness, Kindness, Little Things, Mental Health, People, Positive, Positivity, Praise

This isn’t going to be a generic 2015 summary and 2016 preview. I’ll do a little bit, of course, but that’s not the focus of this post.

Sure I achieved a lot this year. Met some amazing people and saw lots of brilliant things happen. I’ve also taken a few hits this year. My confidence at work has increased greatly but my confidence in social situations has plummeted. However, this isn’t a sad story so don’t reach for the tissue. I’m determined to be better so I know I will be.

Anyway, this post is more about the people I wish I could be with tonight. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a delightful evening cooking a baked lamb meatball ragu but I was meant to be in Newcastle with my extra families so I miss them tons. The brothers, sisters, aunties and uncles from the north, the nephews. All of them. I miss all my old Team v people (and I apologise massively for not keeping in touch with lots of you!). I miss my friends around the world. I miss my friends who live in the same town/city as me but I never seem to be able to connect with.

Admittedly I’ve been much less good at keeping in touch with everyone recently due to various self made mental barriers too. I’m working on it as hard as I can so I’m hoping I won’t be missing you for long.

But for me, and I’m sure everyone else I know, there’s that one person that I wish I could see right now more than anyone. Hopefully, like my person, they make you feel like a better person, they make you smile and feel comfortable. You might not speak to them often and might see them even less but whenever you do see them or speak to them, you’re excited to and it feels like nothing has changed.

So for your first kind gesture of the year, I implore you to drop that person a message, a text, write them a letter, visit them.

Happy New Year.

Love, smiles, and good vibes.

A

#FastForAFriend

Posted on by under #fastforafriend, Change, Eid, General Ranting, Iftar, Islam. Ramadan, Open, People, Religion, Respect, Selflessness

A couple days ago I was talking to a good friend of mine, Uzma, and we were talking about how her Ramadan was going. At the end of our conversation, she challenged me to fast for a day. Today was that day! Last night, I posted a simple Facebook status and a single tweet. The reaction that I got on social media was massive. Tweets of good luck, thanks, prayer and tips on how to get through your first day of fasting. The messages were from strangers, friends of friends and long time friends. I even got a tweet from SuperSaf (one of my favourite YouTube tech reviewers) which was amazing! I had complete strangers tweet me and message me on what Ramadan means to them. The sense of community that I felt from these people has been incredible.

The absolute sheer good, the positivity and the kindness that exudes from the Muslim community is immeasurable. All the time, it’s incredible. Not just during Ramadan. I’ve been invited to iftars by complete strangers on Twitter and Facebook. In Manchester, they’ve been doing huge iftars for the homeless in the centre of town. Selflessness is a huge part of Islam.

I’m not religious and I don’t think I ever will be but I do appreciate the values that Islam and all religions hold and that’s community, peace and justice for all. These last two days I’ve experienced first hand those principles.

The whole point of this exercise was for me to learn more about Ramadan, Islam and the community and hopefully share it with the internet world to disprove all the utter nonsense in the media. The “Muslims” you see terrorising people on TV are absolutely not Muslims. If you really think that those of ISIS represent the majority then please, fast, talk to Muslims in your area, open your mind to what the religion really represents.

I’m going to end it here. I can’t articulate exactly  I’m sleepy, hungry and Uzma has just sent me this:

I’m going to break fast now a little bit early as my food is going cold.

Thank you to the entire Muslim community locally and online for welcoming me into the family. I hope you have an amazing Ramadan and I’ll hopefully be around to celebrate Eid with you all too! 🙂

EDIT: I also want to make sure I send a huge thank you to Zahrah. She looked after me during the day and did a live stream interview with me about Islam and Ramadan.

Campaign Bootcamp Part 2

Posted on by under Change, Grateful, Happiness, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Mental Health, Music, People, Social

Disclaimer: there won’t be much about the actual bootcamp day in this post.

So some time has passed since my post about anxiety and how it was affecting my time here at Campaign Bootcamp. Straight after that post and a nice reassuring chat with my friends Tara and Lucy, a lovely lady named MJ brought out her ukulele. For those of you that know me, you know exactly how much I love my ukulele and music in general. It relaxes me in my mind and body and gives me confidence like no other object or activity could.

I know I’m not a professional musician. I’m not a professional singer. But when you give me a guitar or ukulele it seems to transform me into a performer and a character. It turns me into a musical parody of myself and one that I wish I could be without my instruments.

It’s partly because I’m doing something I love. It’s partly because it makes people smile. Every time I perform in front of people I’m terrified, no matter who I’m with or where I am but the instruments put a physical barrier between me and the people. It’s like a reliable friend that has transformed into a musical instrument. It’s not just a tool for me, it’s a safety net and a trustworthy companion.

It might sound strange that a ukulele or guitar could be so important to me. In fact it is strange. But it’s a way for me to relax, collect my thoughts and give me confidence. This confidence may not last long but it’s a huge step for me to feel that good all the time. It helped me really connect and open up to people and it hopefully put a few smiles on their faces too. Music connects people in a way that can’t be matched. Even those who “aren’t musical” can create and participate in music in so many ways.

This evening has proven that music is a powerful tool. I sang with a lot of people, people sang together, we did a song from Kenya, songs from London, songs from Australia and the states. Music is truly universal and the most powerful tool for unity.

A

This is why I work!

Posted on by under Appreciation, Campaign, Grateful, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, People, Social, Volunteering, Work

So once again I’ve failed to keep on top of the blog. It’s been a hectic few weeks and I’ve been up and down and round and round.

I thought I’d write a little post about work this time. I’m sitting in my hotel in Derry, Northern Ireland after a ridiculously long but rewarding day which has reminded me why I do the job I do. I went around three groups in Northern Ireland today, across three different organisations and facilitated by a fourth and spoke with a lot of young people about their project ideas and how they can apply for funding.

Most of the groups started out extremely shy, reserved and probably very nervous. There they are doing their daily thing, when a random guy from London struts in to talk to them. After a few minutes though, they started to open up about their ideas and JEEZ! They weren’t only good ideas, they were BIG ideas. The young person that impressed me the most though, was a young lady of 8. She was by far the youngest one there and even though she’s too young to apply for funding herself, the group that she was part of wouldn’t have been able to come up with their ideas without her. Time and time again throughout the hour and a bit that I was with them she came up with idea after idea and blew all of us away. It was clear that none of them had ever seen this side to her and she’s clearly destined to go far.

She got the group enthused and excited about the ideas that they were talking about. All three groups had amazing ideas but hers were by far the best and they came from such an amazing, teeny tiny package.

By the end of the day I’d met three groups of incredible people all eager to work with me to develop their projects. Days like this get me excited and enthused about working in this sector and getting other young people confident enough to take up the opportunities that I was lucky enough to have. I’ve seen and experienced first hand the power that volunteering can have on a person’s confidence, life skills, professional development and career prospects. I’m just excited to be able to spread a little of that in my job and wherever I go. I only hope that others like you reading this right now have the same experience I’ve had in your own lives and careers.

A

Don’t Complain, Campaign.

Posted on by under Campaign, Change, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Kindness, Life, Little Things, Mental Health, People, Social, Volunteer, Volunteering

So it’s the time of the year where giving is encouraged. Times are hard right now and the news, media, papers, magazines are all awash with stories of woe, things that need to be changed. There are a lot of issues out there that need people working on to make sure that our country and our society changes for the better.

There are a bunch of things that I’m passionate about and lots of issues that I’m eager to tackle in anyway my time and energy will allow. For example, mental health. If you’ve read my blog before, you’ll know that I’m keen to get people talking about mental health. Trying to take power away from mental illnesses by acknowledging that they’re just a small part of what makes us who we are. I’m constantly planning, brainstorming and talking to others about potential campaigns that I could run to potentially tackle the issue and I feel like in my own very small way I’m already campaigning for change.

Lots of people, however, are what some call Armchair Activists or Slacktivists.

Urban Dictionary define an Armchair Activist as:

“One who sits in their armchair or desk chair and blogs or posts Activists issues on facebook without ever really doing anything about said issues or exercising any form of activism as it would require that person to actually leave the armchair.”

Wikipedia defines Slacktivism as:

“The word is usually considered a pejorative term that describes “feel-good” measures, in support of an issue or social cause, that have little or no practical effect other than to make the person doing it take satisfaction from the feeling they have contributed.”

I’ve been guilty of being a slacktivist before. Occasionally I still feel like one. However, I often get feedback about my efforts in trying to get people to talk about mental health and it helps me realise that even my small little blog and the openness in which I talk about my own mental problems and encourage people to do the same is helping a them come to terms with the hand that’s been dealt to them. This isn’t me tooting my own horn, or blowing smoke up my own chimney or another way of saying that I’m showing off. All I’m trying to do is show people that it’s not as hard as it sounds to campaign for something you care about. There are small things you can do, like blog and talk and share your story or the story of others (who are happy for you to do so). It might not feel like you’re campaigning, but at the very least, you’re laying the groundwork for a campaign. 
I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by people who are motivated enough to campaign about the things that matter the most to them, even though sometimes they work themselves to sickness! 
The message I’m trying to get across in this post is as the title says. Don’t just whine about the issues that you’re upset about. Get up out of your armchair or desk chair or sofa and do something about it.
If you’re interested in running your own campaign check out these links.
vinspired.com/cashpoint
Alternatively, search for an existing campaign and volunteer for that. Chances are, there are tons of campaigns that people have already started which would be happy to have some willing volunteers! 🙂 
SO
Don’t complain, campaign. 
A

Pillars of Friendship

Posted on by under Friends, General Ranting, Grateful, Happiness, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, People, Positive, Reflection

There are several things that I consider to be essential to a good friendship. Some of which I’m good at, some of which, admittedly, I suck at. There are also loads of things that I think we should all be getting out of our friendships and I think I’m really lucky to have friends who stick by me and I get so much from, despite occasionally being a bit rubbish. Hopefully I’m able to give back a little as well!

In terms of the things that we should all be giving to our friends below are my most important.

1. Time

Give your friends a bit of time whenever you can and a lot of time when you’re able. Friendship is a give and take and it’s always going to be tough when you’re working, volunteering, studying etc. but it’s worth it. Time is something that we all feel like we’re short of but for the people that are most important to us we need to make a conscious effort to make time. This admittedly is something I’m a bit rubbish at. I work quite a few evenings and weekends and volunteer a lot of my spare time. I’ve recently been trying to make more of an effort to see people I love and if not see them, at the very least text or call them to let them know I’m thinking of them!

2. Energy

Energy is something that I lack generally. A normal day takes it out of me completely and by the time I’m done at work I just want to sleep. However, I forget that whenever I see the people I love spending time with, it gives me energy. No matter how tired and miserable I feel my friends give me energy and hopefully I do the same for them! 🙂

3. Support

Whether it’s support with a particular topic, or support with a piece of work or even just supporting the fact that they hate that celebrity for wearing odd socks, supporting your friends is important. When your friends really need your support, try to help in any way you can. After all, you only get what you give and when the time comes where you need support, it’s always nice to have someone in your corner. 

4. Appreciation

Being grateful for your friends is key. Don’t take them for granted and assume that they’re always going to be around. Appreciate the little things they do for you. The random texts just to see how you are, the stupid un-funny in jokes which somehow make you cry with laughter. Don’t just appreciate what they do internally though. Let them know that you appreciate what they do for you. Whether it’s by subtle little gestures like buying them a coffee or a little gift or just by awkwardly telling them outright “I appreciate you”. If you do that without blinking, eyes wide as possible, looking them dead in the eye and smiling showing all your teeth, they’ll love it. Trust me.
It’s all swings and roundabouts. You only get what you give. What goes around, comes around. These principles apply to family, friends and everything in life. I chose to apply these four things to friends though as today is the day I’m feeling extremely grateful for the people in my life. I’m a very lucky guy and I really do appreciate the people I have in my life. 
A

Appreciation for the Nation

Posted on by under Family, Friends, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Kindness, Little Things, Mental Health, Mentoring, Music, People, Volunteering, Work

Welcome, welcome, one and all! I’ve been saying for quite a while now, that I would start blogging again and so here we go. I’ve been pondering lots of things recently and sometimes, I ponder more than I’d like. My depression hits hard sometimes and I  have to do what I can to try to keep my mood up and appreciate everything that I have and naturally, I try to focus on what makes me successful when my mental health makes me feel like I’m failing.

We all have different definitions and interpretations of life, love, work and fun. What some people find fun, others find absolutely mind-numbing. What some people find hilarious, others find cringe-worthy. And most importantly, what some find to be a success, others deem it to be a complete failure.

Success to many is related entirely to how much they earn, how up to date their phone is, or how many doodah’s they own. Not everyone measures success in what they earn or what they own though. Obviously, I’m not saying I don’t like money or phones or doodah’s, in fact I love them all, but I value other things more. So here’s a little list of what I value most.

1. People

There are some people who you instantly know you’re going to get on with, some people who you get to know over time and some people you’re born with and live with. 
My family, despite their flaws and annoying habits, are fantastic. They don’t really understand depression, but they selflessly put up with my moods, my days where I don’t want to see/speak to anyone and I even occasionally get lifts from the station to my house (which is ridiculous seeing as it’s only a ten minute walk). 
My friends are the other people who make me feel successful. They, much like my family, look out for me when I need it most and most of the time I don’t even need to ask. It’s like they have a 6th sense. There are so many to name, so I won’t name any at the risk of forgetting and offending someone. The only failure here is that a lot of them live in the north. Sort it out guys, come to London.

2. The Stuff I Do

Volunteering is a great thing to make someone feel successful. I currently mentor some mentors who mentor some mentees. I’ve taken a bit of a back seat in volunteering recently but when I was volunteering for a couple charities at once and could see a tangible change because of the things I do, I felt successful. 
My work makes me feel successful sometimes too, in particular when I’m working face to face with my young people and supporting them with what they do. I love helping them achieve what they want to achieve, and hearing/reading/seeing the excitement in their voice/email/face when they hear that their projects are being approved!

3. The Music of Life

I’m not a professional musician. I’m not even an amateur musician. I am a self taught guitar and ukulele player and a keen singer. I’m never going to pursue a career in music but playing music and singing makes me feel brill especially when I’m singing with a friend. It’s much more fun. Even without the musical instruments, a good album or a catchy tune will pick me up. 

4. All the Little Things

A nice walk, a random smile from a stranger (which believe me, is a massive deal in London) , an unexpected text from an old friend. I try my very best to look out for little things in my day which I can appreciate. For example, every morning I get the bus over London Bridge. On one side I can see St. Paul’s Cathedral, the other, Tower Bridge, Town Hall, HMS Belfast and of course on both sides, the River Thames. London is a beautiful city, I wish people would get off their phones and appreciate exactly how amazingly lucky they are to be here! 
One final little thing which makes me feel awesome, is getting home from work, kicking off my shoes and getting changed into my Hawaiian lounge pants and oversized NYPD hoodie. Comfort unparalleled. Who needs clubs and bars when you have comfort clothes and a ukulele?

5. Not Being a Bellend

Sounds like a pretty simple thing. Don’t be a bell end. Be a good person, treat people with respect. Don’t be a push over, but be kind. I feel better about myself just by being nice. If you’re good to people, people will be good to you. If you treat people like shit, don’t be surprised when the same shit comes flying back in your face. People appreciate it when you treat them with love and respect. 
I know that last line was cheesy. It’s true though. 
This little blog has been a little strange, poorly structured and I think the message has changed slightly from beginning to end but thanks for reading this far! Let me know if you like the blog and let me know if there’s anything you’d like me to write about next time!
A