I used to spend absolutely ages trying my hardest to hide parts of my life that I thought were uncool or weird. Even things I absolutely loved and really enjoyed. There was only one thing that I didn’t hide as much when I was in school and that was my love for Yu-Gi-Oh cards. I was amazing at that game.
I used to absolutely love anime, video games, manga, cartoons. All the nerdy things. Over time my nerd interests grew to include comic books, technology (in particular mobile phones and computers) and science. But throughout most of my life, I was absolutely embarrassed by all of my “awful” interests.
I’m not what you’d call “conventionally cool”, hell I’m barely even unconventionally cool. But I’ve been trying really hard over the last few months to appreciate myself in a way that I’ve always struggled with. I’m embracing all the things that make me, me. I’m trying to find my “Inner Babe” (T, I’m still working on it!) and I think it’s going well.
I’m actually sitting here watching some anime as I type and I’ve got to the point now where it’s more exhausting to try to hide my nerdy habits. I’ve got comic books next to my bed, Marvel bunting with my name on it (thanks V) and video games and controllers all over the place. Wireless charging pads litter my desk, Bluetooth headphones accompany me everywhere, my smartwatch (which is arguably entirely pointless) is part of my daily outfit. I have a cupboard full of old computer parts and a desktop computer which I’m slowly but surely building up to be a beautiful piece of kit.
That’s not everything that defines me though, I’m a musician, an illustrator, a youth worker and a singer. Those parts of me I never hid as they’re a little bit “cooler”… But all of these things are what makes me, me. I’m celebrating everything that makes me unique.
I hope you’re able to appreciate yourself too, all the bits that you don’t often consider to be excellent. All the bits that society wouldn’t generally consider to be cool, all the nerdy things, all the lame things, all the weird things. Love them all! If people judge you based on your harmless interests then screw them!
I’m trying my hardest to be my real self. I hope you get to be your real self too.
If all else fails, my mum says I’m cool…