Category Archives: Health

Week Commencing 25th May

Posted on by under Anxiety, Health, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Mental Health, Reflection, Stigma

The last seven days or so have been an ordeal. Had my mood been better I’m sure the last week would have been very different!

Monday: The day it all kicked off. This was the day I played my first gig in around six years. Needless to say, in the lead up to the show I was petrified. My strong mental resilience seemed to crumble under the nerves of playing a show which is very strange for me as I used to love it. I played a few songs and made a lot of mistakes which was horrendous for my confidence and anxiety. Monday saw my self worth plummet and that left me in a shaken state for the rest of my week.

I did a lot of travelling this week as well. Tuesday I went over to Slough and worked there for the day before delivering a session in the evening. Again not my best work which was due to my constant anxiety and that of course made it worse. Wednesday was much of the same. Slightly better but my mood was very low. The only plus side of Wednesday was seeing a friend which calmed me down significantly before I travelled up to Leeds that evening.

After getting into Leeds at around half ten, I got to the hotel and worked and practiced for the training I’d be delivering the next day. The next morning I had to deliver that training, sleep deprived, miserable and exhausted. One obnoxious man at the training did not help things and seemed to get to me more than it should have!

Friday was another semi pick me up where I saw one friend but was so exhausted that I missed another’s birthday. Sorry!

Saturday was terrible. I thought it was the 29th and so booked to go see a film with a friend. Turns out it was the 30th. My mums birthday. So not only did it feel like I’d forgotten my mums birthday, I also had to cancel on a friend. Once again my self esteem plummeted.

Throughout the whole week I’ve been having panic attacks. Usually in the very early hours of the morning though there are a few dotted around for good measure. Tonight has been no exception.

Mental health is an unpredictable beast. Lots of people would probably say that making a few mistakes performing is a minor thing and my reaction to it is disproportionate. They’d probably be right. But it just goes to show that even small things like that can be devastating to someone’s mood and we’ll being.

I went from feeling phenomenal last week to having one of the hardest weeks I’ve had in months. It’s hard to put into words how my brain works when my depression and anxiety really kick into overdrive but by talking about it at all will hopefully make it easier to articulate and easier to understand for others.

A

Mental Health Awareness Week

Posted on by under #cheerupchallenge, Anxiety, Appreciation, Change, Grateful, Happiness, Health, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Life, Little Things, Mental Health

So this week has been Mental Health Awareness Week and it felt like a good time for me to get back into the bloggosphere, even just for this one post. It’s been nearly two months since my last post on here and the reasons for that are various.

Life has been hectic. Lots has been going on, good and bad! And so I thought it would be a good chance to tell you all about all the things that have been going on with my mental health. So I’m going to write about the good, the bad, the achievements and the setbacks.

The Good

I’ve had lots of good things happen the last few months and I’ve been able to get a lot done. I’ve achieved a lot and am generally feeling really proud of myself. Work is going great, I’m really getting my name out there and getting s*** done!
I’ve spent the last few months trying to get my life on track and I’ve been doing my very best to push myself out of my comfort zone. I’ve been trying to do more things by myself which I’d always struggled with. For example, I went to the cinema by myself for the first time ever. It might sound stupid and it might be a bit weird but I did it! It wasn’t easy though. I had to invest a lot of time and effort into it. 
First thing I had to do was spend money. I booked the ticket online in advance, VIP seating, 3D screening of The Avengers: Age of Ultron. I also went out to get some food an hour before the screening started. 
The next thing I had to do was tell people I was doing it! Once I’d told people I was going to go, I felt like I had to go. Backing out was no longer an option! 
The last thing I had to do was compose myself! After having eaten my meal I went into the cinema and very nearly had a panic attack so I had to compose myself. I just tried to think about the mission. 
I made it through and saw the film, beat my anxiety and ended up having a really good day. Don’t get me wrong I left the cinema feeling very shaken and completely overwhelmed but once it all sunk in, I’m really proud that I made it through that day!

I’ve also done a lot of stuff on Instagram with the #cheerupchallenge. If you don’t follow me on Instagram, my #cheerupchallenge is a series of posts highlighting all the things that I do to keep my mood up. If you’d like to follow the journey just follow me on Instagram @alexquang or click the link at the top of the page in the social media section!

The Bad

My mood has been undoubtedly lower than usual however my mental health in general has been a lot better! I can’t figure out a reason why my mood is lower but there are a few contributing factors. 
There’s been lots going on with my family which has contributed to my mood dipping. Lots of my family have been having troubles. My aunt is ill and my gran took a tumble and I’ve been doing what I can to help out. 
As a result of my lowered mood and family commitments, I’ve been seeing my friends less which again has a massive impact on my mood! Hopefully I’ll be better soon, with more free time and be able to go up to see the gang in Newcastle and of course those a little closer to home! 🙂 
Unfortunately also, I’ve been able to make good on the idea for my #OnYourMind project. It’s something I’d definitely like to come back to soon but at the moment, I’m not able to manage the idea as well as I’d hoped (hence the much simpler #cheerupchallenge). If you would like to help out though and contribute/organise, any help would be appreciated. Just email me at alexquang1@gmail.com! 

Overall

All in all, it’s been a mixed month. Right now I’m feeling a bit down but my mood overall and my resilience and ability to deal with my depression and anxiety has increased massively! I’m productive, able to pull myself up a lot easier and a lot less likely to fall into a deep depression. All the hard work seems to be paying off! 
If you’re interested about mental health and have any questions, by all means drop me a line and ask away! I can’t guarantee a clear answer as the topic is very rarely clear but I’m more than happy to share my story, the things that worry me most and how I cope. 
Alternatively if you need more structured help check out the sites below, find your local mental health services and counsellors or visit your local A&E if you’re fearing for yours or someone else’s life. 
A

#CheerUpChallenge

Posted on by under #cheerupchallenge, Anxiety, Appreciation, Grateful, Health, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Mental Health, Open, Positivity, Reflection

So I wrote in my recent post that I’ve set myself a challenge to cheer up. It’s imaginatively called the #cheerupchallenge.

I’ve spent a long long time figuring out what kinds of things make me happy. It’s a brilliant combination of music, fantasy, food and friends. Have a little look see at some of my posts so far and set yourself a little challenge to keep your mood up! 🙂

I don’t want to make this post too long as it’s going to be 99% pictures chronicling my quest to get better so I hope you enjoy and please feel free to give me a follow on Instagram (@alexquang) and leave a comment/like/share! 🙂

https://instagram.com/p/z7GYPEKyA0

https://instagram.com/p/z7Sy31KyCY

https://instagram.com/p/z7dUikKyEB

https://instagram.com/p/z8QzfoqyBt

https://instagram.com/p/0BO5DPqyBB

https://instagram.com/p/0DuKYiKyG2

https://instagram.com/p/0I6t75qyPn

https://instagram.com/p/0I9EdAqyEV

https://instagram.com/p/0I_qzHqyKB

https://instagram.com/p/0LfaJvKyNV

https://instagram.com/p/0M_7lGKyOq

https://instagram.com/p/0TcYxkqyIX

https://instagram.com/p/0dWn1eKyKS

https://instagram.com/p/0gRjPaKyIE

On Your Mind update and the new challenge!

Posted on by under #OnYourMind, Anxiety, Happiness, Health, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Life, Mental Health, Reflection, Stigma, What's On Your Mind?

It’s been a long long time since I last posted! Sorry to all who read, but I’m hopefully going to be back on track pretty soon.

As you all know, I’ve been working on collecting some stuff for a new project #OnYourMind which is still happening! It’s just taking a bit of time to collect a bunch of stories. It will be launching pretty soon and it’ll be a limited run of hopefully around five or six posts!

I’ve also set myself a new challenge on Instagram which you can follow me on from the top of this page called the #CheerUpChallenge. One of the reasons I’ve not been posting as much is because my depression has been extremely trying recently and once I finish work I don’t have enough energy to do anything else. The challenge is going to be simple. Make a conscious effort to do the things that make me feel better!

If you’d like to take part too, feel free! @ me on Instagram and use the hashtag #CheerUpChallenge!

I will be back soon, I promise!

A

Even on the best of days

Posted on by under #OnYourMind, Anxiety, Health, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Life, Mental Health, Music

Today was an odd day.

I got back from Manchester feeling thoroughly pleased with two days work. But at the same time, very anxious. See I had a gig to go to. An amazing band called The Staves. My anxiety came from the fact that the person I was going with had to cancel because of work. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to find anyone else to go with so I was going to have to go alone.

As the time went on and the gig got closer my anxiety grew. I’m someone that refuses to go to a restaurant or a cinema or the theatre alone. I’d sooner eat my own arm than attend something like that alone. I asked everyone I thought might be interested if they wanted the ticket for free but it was, sadly, too short notice.

Eventually I mustered up the courage to go alone in the hopes that the music would pick me up as it usually does. Throughout the evening I went from highly anxious, very self conscious and extremely uncomfortable to being just about okay enough to enjoy the sound of those three beautiful voices.

At one point I was close to having a panic attack and I almost left part way through. Luckily, The Staves are not only incredibly talented, they’re also hilarious. They managed to keep distracting me with music and their surprising potty mouths. If you hear them sing you’d never expect it but it was brilliant.

The problem is I was constantly so anxious and I’d worked myself up into such a state before the gig that my brain wasn’t working properly. My memory of the evening is blurry. I remember them being amazing and hilarious but nothing beyond that. No specifics.

Even on the best of days I feel anxious but there are things that help me cope. Today it was The Staves, their beautiful faces and spectacular voices and music. They managed to stop me from breaking down in public and having a panic attack in a venue full of a few thousand people. It’s likely they won’t ever know what they did for me today and do on a regular basis. Today I took my first step to becoming comfortable enough to do more things like this by myself! Cheers, ladies!

Also keep an eye out for our first post for #OnYourMind coming soon! If you want to find out more, check out my previous post, tweet me @albysaurus or email me alexquang1@gmail.com

Introducing: What’s On Your Mind?

Posted on by under #OnYourMind, Anxiety, Appreciation, Campaign, Change, Happiness, Health, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Mental Health, Stigma, Stories, Taboo, What's On Your Mind?

Those of you that know me will know that I’ve been racking my brains for a while now for a project that I could run with little resource on mental health. I myself suffer from depression and anxiety and know a lot of people with the same and other mental health problems.

Much of society doesn’t understand the concept of mental health and the stigmas surrounding it are unjustified, untrue and occasionally downright unpleasant. How can I as an individual try to tackle this issue? Well I’ve always encouraged people to talk about mental health. I did that first by opening up about my own mental ill-health. Slowly people began to talk to me and share their own experiences of mental health whether it was positive or negative. Whether they were going through it at that time or they’d been through it previously.

I’ve spoken to a bunch of people now and so I thought it was time to get their stories out there in a slightly different way. Talking about your entire experience of mental health can be exhausting, uncomfortable and lengthy so I decided to take snapshots of people’s lives.

I’ve asked people to write up their average daily thoughts hour by hour from the moment they wake up to the moment they fall asleep.

I’ve got two aims for this project. The first is to show the general public that mental health affects people on a daily basis, that it’s complex, and that the stereotypes aren’t all they’re meant to be. There’s more to a person than their illnesses!

The second aim is that people who are taking part can see their thoughts written down and they can see all the little positives that they should start appreciating more and the negative things that they can potentially work on.

I’m also hoping that this will generate a bit of discussion and create a bit of a support network for those who have taken part!

If you want to get involved or want to find out more, please feel free to tweet me @albysaurus or email me alexquang1@gmail.com 🙂

Keep an eye out for #OnYourMind on twitter and instagram and stay tuned for our first post soon! 🙂

Shout out to Haaris for coming up with our hashtag!

See you all soon!

Well Well Well-being

Posted on by under Appreciation, Happiness, Health, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Kindness, Mental Health, Selflessness

Last night was a good night. Last night is the kind of night that helps to keep my mind at ease. The crowd, the beer, the band, the lights, the bass pulsing through my chest, the camaraderie and the new friends. Music brings individuals happiness. Live music brings people together to share in their happiness and I love it.

I’ve said it before and will always remind people that I love music whether it’s listening, playing or attending music things. The reason I talk about it so much? Because it makes me happy. No matter how angry, sad, lonely I feel music always helps make me feel better. It ensures my mental well-being.

It’s not just music that does this for me though. The people and things that I love will always ensure my well-being. When I feel at my lowest, when my depression hits me the hardest there are a few things I turn to. The first is usually music and alongside that a nice dose of fantasy be it in the form of videogames, books, tv, film, comics. The two combined take me away from my thoughts for a little while and give me some breathing room. Following that, I talk to my friends. They bring me back to reality but it’s not the “reality” that I saw before. It’s one that reminds me that I’m lucky to be where I am with the people I have in my life rather than a hopeless one.

The final thing in my arsenal of well-being is to do things for others. Nothing makes me feel better than helping someone. The smile that you see on their face when you’ve done something for them that they really needed. Cheering someone up when they’re feeling down. Most of what I do is about making things better for people whether it’s the mood of an individual or society as a whole.

So what’s the message I hear you ask? Well, it’s simple really. Find the things that you love. Do those things. Find your version of my chest pulsing music, my ukulele, my fantasy worlds, my supportive friends and my gifts to others. If you don’t know what your equivalents are, don’t worry. The best way to find out is to just do things. Simple as.

Anyway, to sign off, here’s a little dose of my happy to you.

Blue Christmas

Posted on by under Anxiety, Appreciation, Family, Friends, Happiness, Health, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Life, Mental Health, Open, Reflection

Christmas is a holiday which is widely associated with a fantastical magical feeling of good will, gift giving, love and joy. But is it always? Not for plenty of people.

There are Thousands less fortunate than me who are going to be sending Christmas alone, be it in a big empty house or on the street and we should try our best not to forget that. Remember all the things we’re grateful for and try not to take anything for granted. Health included.

I bang on a lot about mental health and in my opinion its for good reason. Mental ill health can make even the most joyous of occasions dull, horrible and scary. For the last six or seven years or so I’ve struggled at this time of year. Lots of people do but for different reasons.

This time of year is where I feel loneliest, despite the good spirit and the family that I have around me. I love my family and I know my family loves me, but I never feel comfortable with them. I’ve virtually nothing in common with any of them. It’s something I’ve felt for a long long time, but it’s extremely clear and very obvious when I’m forced, one day a year to spend it in the sole presence of my family.

It’s something I just can’t explain. That’s the place that I feel most alone, when I’m surrounded by people who love me most. However, while I’m uncomfortable, lonely and horrendously awkward at this time of year, I am still grateful.

Grateful to have family at all, grateful to my friends, grateful to have food on my plate and grateful to be alive. I’m not a fan of spending Christmas day with my family. But for one day a year, I’m happy to sit through a day of good food, bad games and even worse music and tv. It’s significantly tougher than even the most taxing days at work, but it’s worth it to see my family have a good time. Besides, it’s not unusual that the more I pretend to have a good time, for parts of the day I do end up enjoying myself.

Other people have it much tougher than I do though. Mine is just one example of depression and mental ill health taking over the holidays. If you know someone who’s going through a particularly tough time this holiday season, make sure that you’re there for them. It’s always easier to get through things knowing you’ve got someone in your corner.

And for those who struggle with these kinds of things and particularly over-thinking which I’m sure plenty of us do. Have a look at this little gem, courtesy of CollegeHumor.

Christmas is always blue for me, but blue isn’t all bad. I really get time to reflect on what’s important, who’s important and what I can do to get to the point I can genuinely enjoy the holidays again. Besides, blue is one of my favourite colours.

A

Mental Oriental

Posted on by under Anti-depressants, Anxiety, Health, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Life, Mental Health, Stigma, Taboo

So today, unfortunately, I’m off sick from work. As I’m writing this I’m lying in bed, on my phone, barely able to move. I had a night of panic attacks and being almost completely unable to sleep. You may think that something horrible happened to make me feel like this, but you’d be wrong.

This is going to be a quick post.

Yesterday was fantastic. I worked with a colleague who I’ve never worked with before who was not only good fun, but also taught me a lot about what we do. We worked with an award winning group of young people with various physical and learning disabilities to develop some project ideas and I had a fantastic time. I came home to a lovely dinner and my family. Nothing to complain about here. I went to bed pretty early and read my book and fell asleep happy within a few minutes.

Out of no where, I woke up and struggled to breath, terrified and shaking and sweating. This is the thing that is important for me to  make sure people know about. Out of no where. Depression, anxiety, in fact most mental health illnesses come out of no where. It’s incredibly tough to control these things so again, if you have someone in your life who experiences this kind of thing, please don’t dismiss them, please don’t walk on egg shells around them, just be there for them. People need different things after an episode, some prefer to be left alone, some want people right there with them. Whatever they prefer, just make sure that you let them know, that you reassure them that they’re not alone and that you’ll be there for them if they need it.

Right now, sleep deprived, aching all over and bed ridden, I think I’m just grateful for the fact that I’m alive enough to tap away on my phone to share this post.

Signing off affectionately,

The Mental Oriental.

Selflessness is…

Posted on by under Family, Friends, Fun, General Ranting, Health, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Life, Selfishness, Selflessness, Social, Work

Balance is key to a good, healthy, fun and happy life. The work-life balance is always one which is tough to get a hang of. The friends-family balance is just as tricky (at least I think it is anyway). Everything in life is a delicate balance, the see-saw effect means that too much of any one thing makes life a bit crap!

A lot of people I know have a pretty unhealthy work-life balance. I used to as well. One of my jobs from a few years ago would keep me busy from around 8/9 in the morning well into the 8/9 in the evening realm. I loved my job, but I ended up neglecting my social life and barely looked after myself. Needless to say I got pretty ill and ended up having to miss a few days of work. In my attempt to be selfless I ended up not being able to help anyone.

It’s taken me a few years to force myself to be able to fully adequately balance my work-life. I try as best I can not to work out of hours and to make sure I take back all my extra hours. It’s not always easy when there’s a lot to juggle and when you’re finding it hard to focus. My depression often makes it hard to focus, especially if I’m going through a particularly rough patch. What’s important to do here is to ask for help and to look after yourself.

Remember this: you can’t help anyone if you’re dead.

If you want to continue to be selfless and to help others, to look out for those that you care about, to stand up for those who aren’t able to, you’ve gotta look after yourself first. Go see a show, visit some nice sites, listen to some music, just do something to look out for yourself.

This might sound like a selfish notion, but I don’t see any problem in being selfish every once in a while if it allows me to go out there at my best and help people.

Selflessness, like every other part of life is a balancing act. Too selfish and you’re a bell end. Too selfless and you won’t be in any fit state to help anyone.

I hope for you workaholics, super socialites, recluses and never-indoors-ers this blog will be able to give you a nudge to make sure your life is balanced. I promise you it’ll be much more fun.