Category Archives: Change

Progress, Updates and Next Steps.

Posted on by under Change, General Ranting

So it’s been a while again. This job hunting thing is taking up a fair bit of time.

But anyway, this is another short update on the blog, the YouTube channel and social.

The blog is still going to be getting updated and soon it’s going to be more regularly and more consistently! Same with the YouTube channel. I’m in the middle of editing episode 2 of the Invisible Illness Human Library. You should have a look at episode 1 if you haven’t done so already. Things are changing quite a bit though. Every month we’re going to be posting about a specific topic. Those topics aren’t ready to be revealed yet but there’s some really cool stuff coming!

Regarding YouTube, a wonderful wonderful update is that I’m not alone any more! A friend of mine Lily, pictured below, is going to be creating a video for us. If you guys watch and love her stuff she might even agree to make more for us! Lily is a cracking film maker and she’s an alright person too, I guess.

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Welcome to the crew, Lily! 

Regarding social media, Twitter and Facebook will be going up in June-ish. You’ll be able to follow us and like us soon so keep your eyes peeled for an announcement! This is all really exciting and I can’t wait to share the new and improved Success In Selflessness with you all!

A

The Recovery Part 6: Celebrating Serotonin

Posted on by under #cheerupchallenge, Anti-depressants, Anxiety, Change, Depression, Happiness, Health, Little Things, Mental Health, Recovery, Taboo, Tattoo

Today was a good day for me. I did something which I’ve been wanting to do for years. I got a tattoo. I spent months trying to figure out a tattoo that I could get which I would love on my body for the rest of my life and would mean something to me and hopefully mean something to other people.

The tattoo I chose was this: 20160502_190830.jpg

This is serotonin. It’s one of the “happy hormones” and it’s something that my body and brain sorely lacks. It’s one of the causes of my long term depression and so it’s something that I’ve always tried my best to understand. Needless to say, I’m super happy with this.

“I know some people aren’t a fan of tattoos and they may think that this is a pretty extreme way of getting to talk about mental health and you may well be right but sometimes you need to do something a little bit strange to get people talking.”

Obviously this is primarily something for me. If I don’t have enough of this stuff in my body, I’ll get it tattooed on me in the hopes that it brings me a smile when I see it. I will never be without again. In fact this was the first time I’ve been genuinely excited about anything that I’m doing for a long time. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do but this was for me and it’s one of the rare times I do things just for me.

However, there is another reason for this particular kind of tattoo. It’s not something people see very often and so people will hopefully ask about it. When they do, it gives me the chance to talk about mental health, my experiences and the experiences of countless other people who have mental illnesses. It will help to open up the discussions that are so often taboo.

“It gives me the chance to talk about mental health, my experiences and the experiences of countless other people who have mental illnesses. It will help to open up the discussions that are so often taboo.”

I know some people aren’t a fan of tattoos and they may think that this is a pretty extreme way of getting to talk about mental health and you may well be right but sometimes you need to do something a little bit strange to get people talking. This to me, isn’t just a tattoo. It’s a message. It’s a statement. If I can get even one person who looks at my tattoo to think a little bit differently about their mental health and the health of those around them then it will be worth it.

Let the conversations begin.

A

Welcome to the recovery.

Posted on by under #cheerupchallenge, Anti-depressants, Anxiety, Change, Depression, Happiness, Health, Mental Health, Stigma, Taboo, Time

So I’ve moved away from the beautiful leafy suburb of Croydon to the beautiful leafy suburb of Finchley. It’s a pretty nice area and it’s a great house. I’m really lucky to be living with someone excellent too. There’s a great looking sushi place I want to try out (it’s all you can eat).

Moving is very tiring though. Especially when you’ve just started back on antidepressants after a particularly crazy few weeks. Sleep is still hard to keep up. I wake up often and the quality of my sleep isn’t great. The tablets are wreaking havoc in my body. My eyes are constantly itching, my appetite comes and goes, my motivation to do anything varies on an hourly basis.

I have to really force myself to do even the tiniest things. Even the most awesome things that happy Alex would normally love to do, unwell Alex struggles with. I’m going back to work in the morning after a long long time and that’s both exciting and terrifying.

Going back to work after a mental health episode is often the hardest day. Anxiety runs high and it’s extra high after a huge change in my life. So for now, work, relationships, everything else, takes a backseat. My focus is going to be my mental health. I may have moved to a new place in a new town but I’m trying my hardest to get back to my old self.

I’m going to be blogging more about my recovery this time round so stay tuned. I want to show that you can get better.

Welcome to the recovery!

#FastForAFriend

Posted on by under #fastforafriend, Change, Eid, General Ranting, Iftar, Islam. Ramadan, Open, People, Religion, Respect, Selflessness

A couple days ago I was talking to a good friend of mine, Uzma, and we were talking about how her Ramadan was going. At the end of our conversation, she challenged me to fast for a day. Today was that day! Last night, I posted a simple Facebook status and a single tweet. The reaction that I got on social media was massive. Tweets of good luck, thanks, prayer and tips on how to get through your first day of fasting. The messages were from strangers, friends of friends and long time friends. I even got a tweet from SuperSaf (one of my favourite YouTube tech reviewers) which was amazing! I had complete strangers tweet me and message me on what Ramadan means to them. The sense of community that I felt from these people has been incredible.

The absolute sheer good, the positivity and the kindness that exudes from the Muslim community is immeasurable. All the time, it’s incredible. Not just during Ramadan. I’ve been invited to iftars by complete strangers on Twitter and Facebook. In Manchester, they’ve been doing huge iftars for the homeless in the centre of town. Selflessness is a huge part of Islam.

I’m not religious and I don’t think I ever will be but I do appreciate the values that Islam and all religions hold and that’s community, peace and justice for all. These last two days I’ve experienced first hand those principles.

The whole point of this exercise was for me to learn more about Ramadan, Islam and the community and hopefully share it with the internet world to disprove all the utter nonsense in the media. The “Muslims” you see terrorising people on TV are absolutely not Muslims. If you really think that those of ISIS represent the majority then please, fast, talk to Muslims in your area, open your mind to what the religion really represents.

I’m going to end it here. I can’t articulate exactly  I’m sleepy, hungry and Uzma has just sent me this:

I’m going to break fast now a little bit early as my food is going cold.

Thank you to the entire Muslim community locally and online for welcoming me into the family. I hope you have an amazing Ramadan and I’ll hopefully be around to celebrate Eid with you all too! 🙂

EDIT: I also want to make sure I send a huge thank you to Zahrah. She looked after me during the day and did a live stream interview with me about Islam and Ramadan.

Campaign Bootcamp Blues

Posted on by under Adventure, Anxiety, Appreciation, Campaign, Campaign Bootcamp, Change, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Kindness, Life, Little Things, Mental Health, Positivity, Selflessness, Volunteer, Volunteering

So I made it home this morning around 1am after a very long and very tiring week at Campaign Bootcamp. The last two posts I’ve written were written while I was there and they mostly focused on my anxiety and how I was coping with that throughout the week. This post will be slightly different. Campaign Bootcamp is obviously a huge deal. It costs the best part of £3000 to take part per-individual and has training from some of the best campaigners around. It’s also in massively high demand with around 250 applicants and only 34-ish places. So in appreciation of this great training and community, here are the top 4 things that I’ve taken away from the week.

1. Knowledge

Okay, so this one is a bit of a cheat. Knowledge is super broad and you do learn something new every day but I’m talking about vast amounts of knowledge and information. Whether it was about values, theories of change, other world issues or existing campaigns, I learned more than I expected to. Lots of that knowledge came from within the group itself and it was all made so accessible for the less experienced campaigners in the room. So even though it might seem like a bit of a cheat, it’s important to remember that knowledge is power. The more you know…

Learning outdoors in the sun is the best way to do it. 

 2. A Kick Up The Arse

When I arrived at the training we all had to introduce ourselves for one minute. And while everyone else went up and spoke about themselves and all the campaigning that they do, I spoke more about the fact that I wasn’t currently a campaigner. I’m more of a teacher, instructor and supporter. However, now that I’ve spent the week with some of the most ridiculously experienced and passionate campaigners there are, I feel like I’ve been given renewed energy for running campaigns rather than just supporting them. Keep your eyes peeled for more. 
A nice chat by Shami Chakrabarti was certainly… Sharmi-ng! HEYOHHHHHHH!

 3. Resilience

The first two days were particularly difficult for me this week. I am not a huge fan of meeting new people, especially all at once in a place where I’m not comfortable! I had to take myself away for an hour or so, the first few evenings to recover a little from panic attacks. I was very close to leaving and not coming back. However, everyone was so supportive and so open and welcoming. I also remembered over and over about the opportunity and how hard it is to get on to bootcamp. I resolved to stay, even if I didn’t speak to anyone the rest of the week, I would stay. I even managed to put up with all the forced dancing!
A circle of dancing. Not tribal at all.
Luckily, MJ had a ukulele so I managed to feel better pretty swiftly. But I really had to work to stay there and be resilient. If I hadn’t forced myself out of my comfort zone I’d have missed out on some of the greatest people I’ve ever met! 

 4. People

I wanted to learn a lot and start putting things in to practice in my own life, work and campaigning. I met some of the most incredible people this past week. I knew calibre was going to be high when I walked into that room and I knew there would be people with more years of experience than I’d been alive for. I even got to meet and have lunch with Shami Chakrabarti.
What I really wasn’t expecting was to feel such love and warmth from people I’d only just met. Throughout the week I got talking to a bunch of people about everything they’ve been doing and why they do what they do but also about what they love to do when they’re not working or campaigning. 
Even besides that, there were some people who I was able to mess around with for no reason. People I was able to complain to/with. People who I was able to avoid dancing with. The culture was incredible and I knew at any point I could walk up to anyone and start a conversation with someone without feeling like I was being a pain in the arse. 
A little camp fire quiz session with Olivia the quiz master. 

So despite the rocky start and the crazy brain making things just that little bit harder, I’m glad I got on to Campaign Bootcamp, I’m glad I stuck it out and I’m so glad to have met everyone that I did. I’m actually feeling a bit lost without 30+ people around me at all times but I’m making the most of it by watching Blue Planet.

Oriana and Dora, the best buddies a guy could ask for!

Finally, Rachel, Tamara-Jade –

Campaign Bootcamp Part 2

Posted on by under Change, Grateful, Happiness, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Mental Health, Music, People, Social

Disclaimer: there won’t be much about the actual bootcamp day in this post.

So some time has passed since my post about anxiety and how it was affecting my time here at Campaign Bootcamp. Straight after that post and a nice reassuring chat with my friends Tara and Lucy, a lovely lady named MJ brought out her ukulele. For those of you that know me, you know exactly how much I love my ukulele and music in general. It relaxes me in my mind and body and gives me confidence like no other object or activity could.

I know I’m not a professional musician. I’m not a professional singer. But when you give me a guitar or ukulele it seems to transform me into a performer and a character. It turns me into a musical parody of myself and one that I wish I could be without my instruments.

It’s partly because I’m doing something I love. It’s partly because it makes people smile. Every time I perform in front of people I’m terrified, no matter who I’m with or where I am but the instruments put a physical barrier between me and the people. It’s like a reliable friend that has transformed into a musical instrument. It’s not just a tool for me, it’s a safety net and a trustworthy companion.

It might sound strange that a ukulele or guitar could be so important to me. In fact it is strange. But it’s a way for me to relax, collect my thoughts and give me confidence. This confidence may not last long but it’s a huge step for me to feel that good all the time. It helped me really connect and open up to people and it hopefully put a few smiles on their faces too. Music connects people in a way that can’t be matched. Even those who “aren’t musical” can create and participate in music in so many ways.

This evening has proven that music is a powerful tool. I sang with a lot of people, people sang together, we did a song from Kenya, songs from London, songs from Australia and the states. Music is truly universal and the most powerful tool for unity.

A

Mental Health Awareness Week

Posted on by under #cheerupchallenge, Anxiety, Appreciation, Change, Grateful, Happiness, Health, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Life, Little Things, Mental Health

So this week has been Mental Health Awareness Week and it felt like a good time for me to get back into the bloggosphere, even just for this one post. It’s been nearly two months since my last post on here and the reasons for that are various.

Life has been hectic. Lots has been going on, good and bad! And so I thought it would be a good chance to tell you all about all the things that have been going on with my mental health. So I’m going to write about the good, the bad, the achievements and the setbacks.

The Good

I’ve had lots of good things happen the last few months and I’ve been able to get a lot done. I’ve achieved a lot and am generally feeling really proud of myself. Work is going great, I’m really getting my name out there and getting s*** done!
I’ve spent the last few months trying to get my life on track and I’ve been doing my very best to push myself out of my comfort zone. I’ve been trying to do more things by myself which I’d always struggled with. For example, I went to the cinema by myself for the first time ever. It might sound stupid and it might be a bit weird but I did it! It wasn’t easy though. I had to invest a lot of time and effort into it. 
First thing I had to do was spend money. I booked the ticket online in advance, VIP seating, 3D screening of The Avengers: Age of Ultron. I also went out to get some food an hour before the screening started. 
The next thing I had to do was tell people I was doing it! Once I’d told people I was going to go, I felt like I had to go. Backing out was no longer an option! 
The last thing I had to do was compose myself! After having eaten my meal I went into the cinema and very nearly had a panic attack so I had to compose myself. I just tried to think about the mission. 
I made it through and saw the film, beat my anxiety and ended up having a really good day. Don’t get me wrong I left the cinema feeling very shaken and completely overwhelmed but once it all sunk in, I’m really proud that I made it through that day!

I’ve also done a lot of stuff on Instagram with the #cheerupchallenge. If you don’t follow me on Instagram, my #cheerupchallenge is a series of posts highlighting all the things that I do to keep my mood up. If you’d like to follow the journey just follow me on Instagram @alexquang or click the link at the top of the page in the social media section!

The Bad

My mood has been undoubtedly lower than usual however my mental health in general has been a lot better! I can’t figure out a reason why my mood is lower but there are a few contributing factors. 
There’s been lots going on with my family which has contributed to my mood dipping. Lots of my family have been having troubles. My aunt is ill and my gran took a tumble and I’ve been doing what I can to help out. 
As a result of my lowered mood and family commitments, I’ve been seeing my friends less which again has a massive impact on my mood! Hopefully I’ll be better soon, with more free time and be able to go up to see the gang in Newcastle and of course those a little closer to home! 🙂 
Unfortunately also, I’ve been able to make good on the idea for my #OnYourMind project. It’s something I’d definitely like to come back to soon but at the moment, I’m not able to manage the idea as well as I’d hoped (hence the much simpler #cheerupchallenge). If you would like to help out though and contribute/organise, any help would be appreciated. Just email me at alexquang1@gmail.com! 

Overall

All in all, it’s been a mixed month. Right now I’m feeling a bit down but my mood overall and my resilience and ability to deal with my depression and anxiety has increased massively! I’m productive, able to pull myself up a lot easier and a lot less likely to fall into a deep depression. All the hard work seems to be paying off! 
If you’re interested about mental health and have any questions, by all means drop me a line and ask away! I can’t guarantee a clear answer as the topic is very rarely clear but I’m more than happy to share my story, the things that worry me most and how I cope. 
Alternatively if you need more structured help check out the sites below, find your local mental health services and counsellors or visit your local A&E if you’re fearing for yours or someone else’s life. 
A

Introducing: What’s On Your Mind?

Posted on by under #OnYourMind, Anxiety, Appreciation, Campaign, Change, Happiness, Health, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Mental Health, Stigma, Stories, Taboo, What's On Your Mind?

Those of you that know me will know that I’ve been racking my brains for a while now for a project that I could run with little resource on mental health. I myself suffer from depression and anxiety and know a lot of people with the same and other mental health problems.

Much of society doesn’t understand the concept of mental health and the stigmas surrounding it are unjustified, untrue and occasionally downright unpleasant. How can I as an individual try to tackle this issue? Well I’ve always encouraged people to talk about mental health. I did that first by opening up about my own mental ill-health. Slowly people began to talk to me and share their own experiences of mental health whether it was positive or negative. Whether they were going through it at that time or they’d been through it previously.

I’ve spoken to a bunch of people now and so I thought it was time to get their stories out there in a slightly different way. Talking about your entire experience of mental health can be exhausting, uncomfortable and lengthy so I decided to take snapshots of people’s lives.

I’ve asked people to write up their average daily thoughts hour by hour from the moment they wake up to the moment they fall asleep.

I’ve got two aims for this project. The first is to show the general public that mental health affects people on a daily basis, that it’s complex, and that the stereotypes aren’t all they’re meant to be. There’s more to a person than their illnesses!

The second aim is that people who are taking part can see their thoughts written down and they can see all the little positives that they should start appreciating more and the negative things that they can potentially work on.

I’m also hoping that this will generate a bit of discussion and create a bit of a support network for those who have taken part!

If you want to get involved or want to find out more, please feel free to tweet me @albysaurus or email me alexquang1@gmail.com 🙂

Keep an eye out for #OnYourMind on twitter and instagram and stay tuned for our first post soon! 🙂

Shout out to Haaris for coming up with our hashtag!

See you all soon!

Kindness Is Key

Posted on by under Change, General Ranting, Happiness, Kindness, Respect, Selfless, Selflessness, Social

As I sit here at work with virtually nothing to do while I’m covering this event, I got to thinking. I’ve reached the ripe old age of 23 and it feels like throughout my very short life, things have gone downhill constantly. Not me. The world. Every day there are more and more conflicts over more and more ridiculous things. Sexism, racism, ageism and all the other “isms” are coming to light and are causing more and more tension between groups.

The issues are becoming common knowledge and the people are becoming more and more angry about it. Some people react to it admirably and try to solve the many problems through peaceful, sensible and responsible means. Others however are getting angry and are generating more and more hate. So what do I think is the key to solving the world’s problems? Simple. It’s a combination of things.

Empathy is essential and knowledge is power. Many people in the UK are getting angry at those bloody immigrants stealing our jobs and our benefits. Working all the jobs whilst also not working at all. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but how much is your opinion really worth if you don’t do any research and refuse to learn, forever remaining ignorant? If you’re pissed off about immigrants, talk to them, calmly. Listen to stories of why they’re here. Learn the difference between asylum seekers and refugees. I’ve used immigration as an example, but the same rules should apply to all other kinds of things (racism, feminism, sexism etc.). Understand other people and be open to listen. Do not pity, just try to understand. Put yourself in their shoes before you make a judgement.

The most important thing in my opinion though, is kindness. Kindness is key!

We’re a species designed to live in groups. We don’t leave our offspring to fend for themselves once they’re born. We also don’t call them our offspring. We congregate in social groups whether in person or online. We’re constantly finding ways to make being a part of a group easier. However, if you’re in a group, you tend only to stick around people who show kindness and those who are unkind to members of the group are shunned and exiled. Why should this be different on a larger scale? If you show kindness on a larger scale, to everyone you meet, bonds form and they form strongly. It creates a chain reaction of kindness and it makes people act differently towards one another.

https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/rr6lsTgZKAQ&source=uds

“But Alex, nice guys finish last! What’s the point?”. Welllllllll not quite. Being kind puts people in your corner and people will look out for you. In fact, the guys at ASAP Science have made a video about how nice guys actually finish first! Check it out. Society thrives on kindness. There just simply isn’t enough of it around at the moment. We’re fueled by hate and anger because it sells papers and gets people watching the news. We’re in a virtually endless cycle of anger but it is possible to break out of it. Just be kind and watch how things change for the better!

A

Don’t Complain, Campaign.

Posted on by under Campaign, Change, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, Kindness, Life, Little Things, Mental Health, People, Social, Volunteer, Volunteering

So it’s the time of the year where giving is encouraged. Times are hard right now and the news, media, papers, magazines are all awash with stories of woe, things that need to be changed. There are a lot of issues out there that need people working on to make sure that our country and our society changes for the better.

There are a bunch of things that I’m passionate about and lots of issues that I’m eager to tackle in anyway my time and energy will allow. For example, mental health. If you’ve read my blog before, you’ll know that I’m keen to get people talking about mental health. Trying to take power away from mental illnesses by acknowledging that they’re just a small part of what makes us who we are. I’m constantly planning, brainstorming and talking to others about potential campaigns that I could run to potentially tackle the issue and I feel like in my own very small way I’m already campaigning for change.

Lots of people, however, are what some call Armchair Activists or Slacktivists.

Urban Dictionary define an Armchair Activist as:

“One who sits in their armchair or desk chair and blogs or posts Activists issues on facebook without ever really doing anything about said issues or exercising any form of activism as it would require that person to actually leave the armchair.”

Wikipedia defines Slacktivism as:

“The word is usually considered a pejorative term that describes “feel-good” measures, in support of an issue or social cause, that have little or no practical effect other than to make the person doing it take satisfaction from the feeling they have contributed.”

I’ve been guilty of being a slacktivist before. Occasionally I still feel like one. However, I often get feedback about my efforts in trying to get people to talk about mental health and it helps me realise that even my small little blog and the openness in which I talk about my own mental problems and encourage people to do the same is helping a them come to terms with the hand that’s been dealt to them. This isn’t me tooting my own horn, or blowing smoke up my own chimney or another way of saying that I’m showing off. All I’m trying to do is show people that it’s not as hard as it sounds to campaign for something you care about. There are small things you can do, like blog and talk and share your story or the story of others (who are happy for you to do so). It might not feel like you’re campaigning, but at the very least, you’re laying the groundwork for a campaign. 
I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by people who are motivated enough to campaign about the things that matter the most to them, even though sometimes they work themselves to sickness! 
The message I’m trying to get across in this post is as the title says. Don’t just whine about the issues that you’re upset about. Get up out of your armchair or desk chair or sofa and do something about it.
If you’re interested in running your own campaign check out these links.
vinspired.com/cashpoint
Alternatively, search for an existing campaign and volunteer for that. Chances are, there are tons of campaigns that people have already started which would be happy to have some willing volunteers! 🙂 
SO
Don’t complain, campaign. 
A