So far in Australia I’ve been out almost every day. When I’ve not got plans with friends and family my plan always consists of walking in town until I find something cool to do/see and spend some time doing that. Today and yesterday I’ve been feeling a little rough. My body and brain are completely exhausted. I woke up today feeling a dizzy and a tiny bit queasy, my legs are feeling weak and my head is aching. I was hoping this wouldn’t happen but I clearly haven’t been managing my energy very well. I get that when you’re on holiday you want to do and see as much as you can but I’m definitely in need of a couple days of lazing around.
At home, I plan my social activities very careful so that I don’t get overwhelmed but I spent the first couple weeks in the city walking until I get hungry, eating and then going to something and being back by 4/5pm. I know it doesn’t sound like a lot for most people but for me, all the noises, people and things going on in busy cities can get a bit much. My brain can only process so much every day and I’m struggling to keep it in check while I’m being exposed to so many new things at once.
So yesterday and today I’ve been focused on trying to get my head back into a good space. I know it might seem like a waste of two days while I’m on holiday but I need the break from the fun to be able to enjoy the last two weeks in Australia. The main thing that I’m struggling with here is sleep. Even though I’m going to bed much earlier than I do in the UK, I’m not getting the good rest that I need. I’m regularly waking up in the middle of the night and super early in the morning and I’m having some freaky dreams that seem to be waking me up too.
One thing that I know I struggle with and I know lots of other people with mental health problems struggle with is the guilt of resting. Half of my brain is telling me “what the fuck are you doing? Get out and keep exploring. You don’t have much time here.” While the other half of my brain is telling me “stop. Just for a little while.” So while I definitely want to make the most of my time here I’m also here to rest and relax. So I won’t feel bad about taking a day or two to rest up and get ready for the last stretch of my holiday.
So many people feel guilty for taking time out for themselves but my message to people is “don’t”. I know it’s hard to just switch your mindset. It’s almost impossible. But try your best to remind yourself that you need a break to be able to get on with life. Everyone needs to rest. If you need to rest a little more than others, by all means, take that time and get your body and your brain ready for the next exciting adventure.