The Inexplicable Rage of Alex

So recently with all that’s been going on in my life I’ve noticed a bit of a change in myself which I’m not particularly happy with. I’ve found myself becoming angry over some of the smallest things. I feel like my senses have grown more sensitive to smells, light, sound and touch. So whether I’m sitting in my office or on my train I’ve been keeping my sunglasses and my headphones on to try to block out as many external factors as possible.

I think I know some of the factors that are really affecting me are the crazy personal circumstances that I’ve got going on right now and the distinct lack of quality sleep. Insomnia is a big factor but even the nights where I’m able to sleep I wake up several times. Even though I know the issue, I’m finding it pretty hard to manage it and it’s affected how I deal with regular every day situations. It’s made me grumpy AF (that’s what the cool kids say right?).

So here are some of the regular every day things that I am finding rage inducing at the moment.

  1. Being able to hear people eat even if they’re quiet.
  2. Having to speak to pretty much anyone.
  3. Someone sitting next to me on the train.
  4. Said person being inconsiderate enough to repeatedly hit me with her bag and constantly nudge me as she gorged on the worlds biggest bag of crisps.
  5. Every time anyone in the office says anything.
  6. People saying literally anything that I disagree with even slightly.
  7. People who walk slower than me in the street.
  8. The sound of a train approaching the platform.
  9. Trains.
  10. Not being able to decide what to have for lunch.

So yeah, some of these things are pretty irritating. But while I haven’t had any outbursts yet, I get very very agitated over them. Disproportionately agitated. The loathing I feel for the people/objects is unreal. I’m trying really hard to manage this anger and make sure that I don’t lose it in public but that’s proving very very difficult.

My question to you all is, if you’re ever feeling angry about the smallest things, how do you calm yourself down?

A

2 thoughts on “The Inexplicable Rage of Alex

  1. Hi Alex, it’s Cou! 🙂
    I tend to be quite irascible some days too, so those days I try to take it easy.
    For me what works is:
    Breath deep a couple of times (I know, a classic)
    Try to bring some sense to my mind saying things like “this is not THAT bad” and “I’m probably too sensitive”
    Immediately after I focus my attention in something else. If it’s something outside my body even better (sometimes when we focus on our anger we make it worse!). So for example I tell a story to myself, or try to remember something, or listen a podcast… anything that works for you really 🙂
    Everybody have different techniques, but what I think it’s important is to not pay too much attention to those feelings. Our brain has plasticity and if you make it get used to anger patterns, then it’s more difficult to stay away from them! 🙂 It might seems difficult at the beginning, but keep trying!
    Loooots of luck! 🙂 xx

    Like

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