Even on the best of days

Today was an odd day.

I got back from Manchester feeling thoroughly pleased with two days work. But at the same time, very anxious. See I had a gig to go to. An amazing band called The Staves. My anxiety came from the fact that the person I was going with had to cancel because of work. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to find anyone else to go with so I was going to have to go alone.

As the time went on and the gig got closer my anxiety grew. I’m someone that refuses to go to a restaurant or a cinema or the theatre alone. I’d sooner eat my own arm than attend something like that alone. I asked everyone I thought might be interested if they wanted the ticket for free but it was, sadly, too short notice.

Eventually I mustered up the courage to go alone in the hopes that the music would pick me up as it usually does. Throughout the evening I went from highly anxious, very self conscious and extremely uncomfortable to being just about okay enough to enjoy the sound of those three beautiful voices.

At one point I was close to having a panic attack and I almost left part way through. Luckily, The Staves are not only incredibly talented, they’re also hilarious. They managed to keep distracting me with music and their surprising potty mouths. If you hear them sing you’d never expect it but it was brilliant.

The problem is I was constantly so anxious and I’d worked myself up into such a state before the gig that my brain wasn’t working properly. My memory of the evening is blurry. I remember them being amazing and hilarious but nothing beyond that. No specifics.

Even on the best of days I feel anxious but there are things that help me cope. Today it was The Staves, their beautiful faces and spectacular voices and music. They managed to stop me from breaking down in public and having a panic attack in a venue full of a few thousand people. It’s likely they won’t ever know what they did for me today and do on a regular basis. Today I took my first step to becoming comfortable enough to do more things like this by myself! Cheers, ladies!

Also keep an eye out for our first post for #OnYourMind coming soon! If you want to find out more, check out my previous post, tweet me @albysaurus or email me alexquang1@gmail.com

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